Coronavirus Induced Thoughts: What should i really be doing?

This coronavirus has really got me thinking about life and where I am. 

For example, when I started this blog I was a bright-eyed college freshman who dreams were to become an economist, get a Ph.D. from a brand name school, do research, get published in top journals and set my sights on being the first Jamaican Economist to win a Nobel Prize in Economics.  

Big dreams that seemed just about attainable based on my track record. I graduated top of my major,( my best friend beat me, but he double majored), I was proxy valedictorian for a class of around 3000+ students, to me it didn't matter unless I actually went up on stage, but to some people that should have been an honor and slowly everything that I was looking forward to, slowly started to seem further and further away. 

I applied for master's studies overseas I got into a few places, so the Ph.D. finally seemed within reach, but not being a rich foreigner as most international programs seem to want, I couldn't go because of money. So I stuck around and did an MSc here in Jamaica. Halfway through the program, I started applying to schools for Ph.D., and my new hindrance became the standardized test GRE. 

Over the years, every time I see GRE required on a college page, I get either upset or discouraged. Why is it that a supposedly smart guy, Masters in Economics( basically a Math Degree), teaches advanced mathematics and statistics courses to undergraduates, got ones in CSEC Math and English and one in Caribbean Studies, can't seem to pass with a reasonable grade an exam which is basically high school math, college comprehension, and writing. It still boggles my mind, but standardized tests are not created to test your knowledge or even your reason abilities, but your ability to past the test. 

What I failed to mention before is that I've always hated exams, having been a lecturer and setting exams I so with understanding in mind. I test based on the objectives of the course outline, which is usually at the end of the course; you should know these things os that you can move on to the next level. But standardized tests have been used to a human sorting device for programs that seem to want the best machines that these programs/tests turn out.

But as I reflect on where I am now, this once wide-eyed freshman became a serious master's grad with a knit brow. So with no luck on the Ph.D. front, I've held down a job (more like been held down) in the financial sector, for around 4 years now within that time I've sort of morphed into an economist who can't seem to get what he wants, so I do basically nothing. Work isn't remotely challenging, I used to have to memorize entire Industrial Organization problems from the Tirole, solve and interpret mathematical optimation problems in both Macroeconomics and Microeconomics, not to mention, solve econometrics problems using matrices, and I was pretty good at it too. But as with anything you don't use you lose, I only remember a few snippets from the first year and maybe a little more from the second year, but for the most part, its all fog. 

What's at the forefront of my mind is something we all know but take for granted. They tell you when you're a kid, go to school, get good grades, do well, get into a good college, get your degree or degrees in my case and then get a good job. 

When you get a good job bust your ass, get promoted and strive for middle management, then retire. 

But this is what most of us know as a good life, its not a bad life but it's not for all of us. 

What if I want to do more for myself, enjoy my work, achieve my dreams, and see the world while I'm doing all of this. 

Back in 2012, I read the book rich dad poor dad by Robert Kiyosaki. Obviously, I found out that Kiyosaki makes most of his money from his books, seminars, and appearances, but there is one thing in my mind that stood out from them when I realized that the sauce we've been given doesn't quite smell right. 

"A" students work for "C" students, and "B" students work for government. 

Many people disagree with this quote, but I think it has major merit as it has shifted the way I've thought for the past few years. To decode this, let's start from C students, "C" students generally don't do well in school because their attention is generally divided, they're not exactly failing, but they aren't exactly passing either. They're kinda just coasting, most places you can graduate with a C average. B students work hard sometimes even twice as hard as A students but tend to come up short for some reason. In contrast," A" students seem to enjoy learning, doing assignments, or just have natural smarts, and can retain and assimilate easier than others. 

Many students C end up not being able to get what some might deem prestigious academic jobs so many seek a route that more logic or work-intensive, for example when I was in high school many of the smart kids, A and B students did the sciences biology, physics, chemistry, or heavy arts subjects like history or literature.  While the C students tend to do vocational or business courses. Clearly, different paths for many students, C students tend to also do better with money and, as such, tend to start their own businesses more. Now because they realize they aren't the smartest, they hire people who they know went to school and did well to advise them, otherwise known as A students. While these jobs can be very competitive, B students tend to be weeded out and, as such, may end up working in government.  

  An example I personally know is that three kids who went to the same university and did similar programs. The C student founded the company, hired the A student to advise him on how to run it, and the B student was hired by the government regulator. While this is not a rule, it allowed me to come up with my own version of it. 

Since I'm an A student, have always been (maybe except for the masters) why not think like a C student.  Learn about Money and Hustle and not trying to be the smartest in the room even though you probably are, learn from everybody as best as possible. 

The only problem with my strategy is that once you get out of the A student mindset, it's hard to get back there. Maybe I don't need a Ph.D. to achieve my goal of being an economist, Maybe I should just start the company instead of waiting to get promoted. Maybe I should roll up my sleeves every once in a while do somethings manually (IDK why this one is here, but it seems to fit)

Coronavirus got me feeling uncomfortable, I know many people who would kill for my job and my salary, but for me its just not enough. Not enough exposure, challenge, fulfillment, or money. It's okay to want nice things and travel the world, which I really want to do, but what not okay is to try to will your self to settle into something that's eating you away inside. 

Obviously, this is more a personal blog than my usual economist blogs, but I haven't been writing, and this is what got me to come back and write. 

#CollegeEconomist